A Multigenerational Conversation between Arnie and Tiffany

Dr. Arnold Beresh, living with dementia since 2015, is an educator for physicians and students on dementia and an advocate for the Alzheimer’s Association and National Council of Dementia Minds.

Tiffany, a graduate of Georgetown University, catches up with her previous classmate. The two met in Sonya Barsness’s graduate Psychology of Aging course. The class, using her multigenerational learning model, unites older adults with undergraduate and graduate students in a learning environment focused on promoting shared learning and emphasizing reciprocity.

Tiffany: How would you like to introduce yourself to the newsletter?

Arnie: Hi. I am Dr. Arnold Beresh, a retired podiatric surgeon, and a person who was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment and early onset dementia in 2015… was that the introduction we are going for?

Tiffany: That’s a great start! Tell me more about how you spend your time and the communities you are a part of.

Arnie: I’m an advocate for the Alzheimer’s Association and National Council of Dementia Minds in helping to progress Alzheimer’s legislation. I also am a resource for physicians and students within the medical field. Since dementia mitigation is not always clear, I think physicians must have these connections and resources.

Tiffany: What are some of your favorite things about life today?

Arnie: Taking part in support groups. Support groups are a great resource for creating safe spaces for those living with dementia or neurocognitive impairment. People can talk and ask questions freely and safely within a community of people who are also living with MCI or dementia, without the input of people from the outside. It is a great place to connect with people who are going through what you’re going through.

Arnie: However, social spaces for people living with dementia are an entirely different entity. People with neurocognitive diseases can get overwhelmed in social situations, especially when they may not know everyone. They may feel the need to get away from the noise or limit their conversation area. I find that limited background noise where I can interact with people I know makes for better social spaces.

Tiffany: Something I love about multigenerational conversation, which I remember from being in class with you, is that I learn that we are not that different. I can relate to many things you mentioned about uneasiness in large social gatherings.

Arnie: That is true; I believe many of those statements could also be true for people who are introverted. Conversations like these are another one of my favorite things – I get to present to the public what “life” is through my eyes.

Tiffany: Have your favorite things about life changed throughout your life?

Arnie: Definitely. Throughout high school, college, medical school, residency, practice and now, my favorite things about life were different at each point. We all pick what things at each stage of life are our favorite – like when people are in the process of building a family, at that time, their focus is on family, but when they’re in school, their focus might be on academics or friends. I mean, I guess the exception might be people who have firmly ingrained hobbies like golf.

Tiffany: What are some misconceptions about how people view life with dementia?

Arnie: There are huge misconceptions. When people hear about those living with neurocognitive diseases, they think aout the terminal aspect of it; however, when someone is diagnosed with dementia, there is life after diagnosis… good quality of life. Of course, there is good quality of life until there isn’t. There aren’t specific starting points and ending points of dementia, and that is what a lot of people don’t understand.

Arnie: For example, I can be spot on one day and the next day be totally confused. Or, the person can be good in the morning, but by the afternoon they may have to forget the rest of the day – that is the biggest misconception.

Another misconception is that people with dementia and neurocognitive disease cannot learn anything. This is not true. I know people living with dementia who have gone back to school and gotten other degrees. While, yes, it is not common, I know people who have. People living with dementia also discover things that they didn’t know that they could do before. So, I would say that people living with dementia still have that fundamental ability to achieve things.

Tiffany: What wisdom do you wish you could impart to everyone in this world?

Arnie: One is to live your life to the fullest and enjoy your family and friends. Another is to maintain your identity.

Tiffany: I remember asking you this question in class, and this answer – your answer has stuck with me ever since. It’s a whole different experience hearing this advice even just two years ago than hearing it now. I’ve learned much more about what it means to live fully now than before, and it seems like one of those concepts that I’ll develop more as I get older.

Arnie: You’re right – hearing it and living it are two completely different processes. It’s not necessarily changing your way of doing A, B, or C – it naturally becomes a part of life.

Tiffany: Is there anything more you would like to add?

Arnie: If you meet one person with dementia, you’ve only met one person. Do not make assumptions about how someone lives with dementia by comparing them to another person – it presents differently depending on the person.